


Jessica Jones and Spider-Man: Just Let Him Have This, Damnit!

by d0d0bird



Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [12]
Category: Alias (Comics), Jessica Jones (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: And Then Some, BAMF Jessica Jones, Ball Gag, Bondage, Comfort No Hurt, Embarrassed Jessica Jones, Embarrassed Malcolm Ducasse, Embarrassment, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Guidance Counselor Malcolm Ducasse, Humiliation, Humor, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Its Not a Literal Adoption But Still, Jessica Jones Adopts Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Multi, Non-Consensual Bondage, POV Jessica Jones, POV Peter Parker, Peter Parker Actually Treats Mary Jane Like a Human Being, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Jessica Jones, Protective Malcolm Ducasse, Public Humiliation, Rope Bondage, Situational Humiliation, Wet Clothing, bound and gagged, references to trauma, wedgie, wedgies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:36:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: Peter’s been through a LOT lately, but things are starting to look up as he and MJ celebrate their one month anniversary with a trip to Rupert’s World, a seafaring theme park that’s come to town.Someone has insidious plans for the park, but Jessica will be DAMNED if she lets anyone ruin Peter’s date after all he’s had to put up with!
Relationships: Jessica Jones & Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson
Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507763
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Jessica Jones and Spider-Man: Just Let Him Have This, Damnit!

The sounds of ringing bells and the scent of funnel cake filled the air as Jessica walked down the artificial boardwalk. Rollercoastsers and casino towers lined evening sky on either side as hundreds of guests walked in every direction. Whimsical carnival music played on unseen speakers to drown out the distant sound of waves.

This was Rupert's World. It was an enormous structure floating in the bay south of Brooklyn. It was several acres in size. It boasted thrill rides, casinos, carnival games, restaurants, and more. The mobile entertainment venue had arrived in New York only a few weeks ago and was quickly becoming an enormously popular destination.

The popularity stemmed not from the quality of products, although that was certainly not lacking, but instead from the incredibly affordable prices they were sold at. Admission to the park was only a small fee and most of the food and attractions were included in that fee. Competitors, such as other casinos and entertainment centers, were all feeling the economic impact of the park.

One of the owners of the affected casinos had hired Jessica. The owner was certain Rupert's World was using some unconventional means to make money and wanted to know how. Jessica’s job was to either find evidence of wrongdoing or of exemplary capitalist strategy. In the case of the former she was to expose Rupert's World for its crimes; in the case of the latter she was to pass that secret on to the casino owner.

She hadn’t found anything yet. It was definitely suspicious. She knew the admission price was almost certainly too low to make such an extravagant venture profitable. Something was up. Jessica was already uneasy in the carnival-like setting, surrounded by families and young couples on all sides carrying cotton candy and stuffed animals won as prizes.

“Jessica!”

Jessica turned around in confusion, not expecting to hear her name.

“Malcolm?” she realized, “What are you doing here?”

Malcolm was Peter’s guidance counselor at Empire State University. His close work with Peter eventually led to him being one of the few people to know his alternate identity was Spider-Man. In a lot of ways, he served as Peter’s personal therapist for his superhero life, offering him emotional support and helping him through the hard parts. He had also forced Jessica to read an alcohol safety booklet on Halloween, so she had something of a tense relationship with him*.

*In [Spider-Man: Halloween is for Hookups](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164174)

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” he said, “You don’t strike me as the Rupert's World type.”

“I’m working a case. What’s your excuse?”

Malcolm looked around uncomfortably. After a moment he nodded to himself and looked to Jessica.

“Peter and MJ are on a date here today,” he said.

“Oh my God, did you follow them here?”

“No!” protested Malcolm, “Well, not exactly. Peter told me about in during our session and I thought I’d swing by to check on him.”

“You’re reaching helicopter parent levels of overprotection.”

“It’s their one month,” explained Malcolm, “This date means a lot to Peter. I think you and I both know how badly he could use a good day.”

Jessica sighed and nodded. A few weeks back Peter had wound up in the hands of Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin. The interrogation had been brutal. Jessica saved Peter before he was seriously injured, but the psychological effect it had taken on him was apparent.*

*In [Jessica Jones and Spider-Man: Break You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21579316)

“It’s still weird that you followed them here,” said Jessica.

“Point taken,” sighed Malcolm, “I’ll come clean to Peter about it tomorrow. Now what’s this case you’re working? Anything that might pose a risk to the date?”

Jessica scoffed.

“It’s a valid question!” inisted Malcolm.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Need any help?”

“I’m not accepting interns at the moment,” said Jessica dismissively, walking past Malcolm.

“Come on!” yelled Malcolm after her, “We’re on the same team here!”

“Yeah? Then consider yourself benched.”

“Jessica!”

***

“I’m glad it’s warm,” said Mary Jane between bites of french fries, “I was sure it would be freezing.”

“Mm-hmm,” agreed Peter as he finished his milkshake.

The couple sat side by side on one of the many benches on the Rupert's World boardwalk. Despite the incredible popularity of the park and the size of the crowds, the floating structure remained remarkably spacious and not claustrophobic. People were always moving from one place to the next and walkways were designed in such a way that they didn’t cause congestion. It was truly an impressively designed park.

The two finished their snacks and tossed them into the trash can. They held hands as they began a leisurely walk past the carnival games. It had been a hard couple of weeks for Peter. Malcolm’s counseling had helped, but he was still having a hard time readjusting to his life. At everyone’s insistence, he had taken a few weeks off from being Spider-Man to recover. He was feeling ready to get back in the game again, but figured he would use the last of his time off to have a fun date with Mary Jane. Peter was determined to make it a great day.

“Thanks for this, Tiger,” said Mary Jane, hugging Peter’s arm close, “It was a great idea.”

“I’m glad you like it,” said Peter, “because my backup idea was the Fisk Art Gallery and that would not have been fun.”

Mary Jane let out a snort of laughter. Peter had been making jokes about Fisk and his trauma since he had gotten back. At first they made Mary Jane uncomfortable, but eventually Peter got her to understand that joking about it helped him cope with the experience. She did her best to understand and eventually came to appreciate the jokes too.

“I always thought carnival games looked fun,” sighed Mary Jane, “It’s a shame they’re all ripoffs.”

Peter considered for a moment.

“You know…” he smiled, “One could say such ripoffs are… Criminal. And as Spider-Man, it IS my responsibility to address such crimes...”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

Peter pulled Mary Jane over, both giggling, as they got in line for one of the games. This one was a rope ladder challenge in which participants paid for the opportunity to climb across the ropes to ring a bell at the end. The game was notoriously near impossible thanks to the unstable nature of the ropes causing people to swing off.

Peter handed to attendant the cash. He readied himself at the base of the ladder. The attendant gave the okay. Peter’s spider powers gave him a perfect sense of internal balance as well as superhuman coordination. He effortlessly climbed across the rope ladder and rung the bell in a matter of seconds. The attendant stared in disbelief.

“Woohoo!” cheered Peter as he leapt off the ladder.

“Now wait just a minute!” sputtered the attendant, “How did a shrimp like you manage that?”

“Uh…” muttered Peter nervously, trying to think of an explanation.

“No need to be stingy!” declared someone loudly, “Give the boy his prize!”

Peter, the attendant, and Mary Jane all turned to see a tall man in a bright red and white suit. He had a mess of orange hair swirled around his head and walked with something of a rhythm.

“Mr. Cade!” realized the attendant.

“Please,” smiled the man, placing a hand on the attendant’s shoulder, “Call me Rupert.”

“Uh…” continued Peter.

“Oh, my apologies!” smiled Rupert, “I haven’t formally introduced myself.”

Most of the boardwalk had turned to Rupert and were watching him now. Between his loud style and grandiose presentation, he was attracting attention from all around.

“My name is Rupert Cade!” he shouted loudly, “The owner and operator of Rupert's World!”

Several cheers sprang out of the crowd. Applause followed. Rupert feigned a comical blush and took an extravagant bow. He turned his attention back to Peter and Mary Jane.

“I’m sorry about my employee,” he frowned playfully, “Go ahead. Take any prize you want.”

“Which one do you want?” Peter asked Mary Jane.

“That one!” she said immediately, pointing.

Peter smiled and nodded to the attendant. He unhooked the enormous stuffed tiger with a smiling face from the rack and brought it over. Mary Jane joyfully took the enormous prize, wrapping both of her arms around it.

“An excellent choice,” assured Rupert, “It warms my heart to see a young couple having a good time. It’s why I enjoy my stroll around the park so much. You two lovebirds have a wonderful day! Something tells me you’re going to have a _killer_ day.”

***

“What are we doing here?”

“If you’re going to insist on tagging along,” said Jessica, “the least you could do is be quiet about it.”

Malcolm sighed in acceptance. The two of them were standing at the back of the main room of Rupert's World’s premiere casino. Slot machines lined the walls, bars boasted video poker stations at every stool, and employees with platters of food and drinks walked swiftly from card table to card table.

“Can I get you anything?” asked one of the waiters cheerily.

“Whiskey, neat,” responded Jessica without hesitation.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” frowned the waiter, “We are only serving three drinks today: jungle juice, hand grenades, and purple people eaters.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Afraid so.”

“Fine,” groaned Jessica, “bring me… one of those. I don’t care which.”

“I’ll be right back,” he smiled.

Jessica eyed Malcolm. He was giving her a disapproving look.

“Fuck off,” she said.

“I didn’t say anything!” said Malcolm, throwing his hands up.

Jessica returned her attention to the patrons. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Unlike most casinos, this one was actually naturally lit. Large windows brough sunlight in and there was no flashing lights like most casinos. It was almost as if it WASN’T designed to keep people gambling for as long as possible.

“You notice anything strange about this place?” asked Jessica.

“You mean people being tricked into risking their savings for false promises?” asked Malcolm, “Because if so, yes.”

“No,” said Jessica, “Look closer. It’s the opposite. I don’t see a single person in this room who looks disappointed or down on their luck. Have you ever seen a casino where everyone looked so satisfied?”

“I haven’t…” realized Malcolm, “Hey, wait a minute... Look!”

Malcolm stared at one of the card tables. Jessica followed his line of sight. It didn’t seem any more noteworthy than anything else in the room. There were a few touristy looking players and a skinny dealer with greasy hair and a large pair of glasses.

“What?” asked Jessica.

“That dealer,” whispered Malcolm, “I know him. He’s one of my students at ESU. His name is Jack Hammer. He’s in the math department.”

“Math department? Is he smart?”

“Very smart. He interned at the Baxter Building for a while.”

“Then what’s he doing here? You think he’s skimming off the top? Or counting cards for the house?”

“Maybe. He has nickname among the students. One he actually embraces: Weasel.”

“Classy.”

“Look around,” realized Malcolm, “Other than the video stations, is anyone playing poker?”

“...no,” confirmed Jessica, “It’s all blackjack or other banking games.”

“Your drink, ma’am!”

Jessica looked disdainfully at the intricate plastic cup on the tray. It was a large purple mug stylized to look like a monstrous head with a single eye and a single horn. Malcolm let out a stifled chuckle. Jessica angrily grabbed the drink and chugged it, placing the empty cup back onto the tray. Jessica felt the warm buzz in her head. That drink was quite strong by normal people’s standards, but for her it was just enough to feel loose. She shook out her hands and clenched her fists.

“You may want to leave for this part, boy scout,” said Jessica to Malcolm as the waiter walked off, “I’m not gonna take it easy on this dweeb.”

Malcolm opened his mouth to speak but Jessica had already started walking to the card table. She sat down with the other players and made strong eye contact with Weasel. The anxious dealer nodded in acknowledgement of her joining the game and began to pass out cards.

Jessica played casually, not putting much thought into or wagering many chips on her decisions. Instead, she carefully awaited the results. As she expected, the results were a little suspicious. Most of the players won each round, which meant the dealer and house were losing each round. How was that possibly profitable?

Jessica watched Weasel closely. The scrawny man noticed and started to fumble with his cards. Jessica stared more intensely as she watched sweat trickle down his face and noticed him tapping his heel on the ground. Jessica glared at him as he dealt the cards out again. Without looking, Jessica surrendered her hand and the round. Weasel gave her a nervous look.

“Didn’t really like my hand,” she said coldly.

“You… Didn’t look at it…” muttered Jack.

“I know.”

He seemed unbelievably nervous now. He looked around and tapped the shoulder of a man in a suit walking by.

“Hey Adam,” he asked quietly, “Think you could take over? Mr. Cade wants me at a different table.”

“Sure thing,” nodded the man, stepping in as Jack got up and left.

Jessica immediately followed Weasel. He sped up his walking pace as he hastened for the exit. The moment he was out the back door and in the alley behind the building, Jessica caught up to him and slammed him into the wall.

“Alright Weasel,” she muttered angrily, “What’s going on here?”

“I don’t know anything!” pled Jack, “I swear!”

Jessica didn’t have time for this. She pulled open his suit jacket and eyed his chest. She pinched one of his nipples through the cloth, squeezed with her superhuman strength, and twisted.

“Ohohohoho!” screamed Weasel, “OW!”

“Talk.”

“Okay, okay!” he pled, “I was counting cards and slipping cards into the deck, I admit it! But I wasn’t taking money, I swear!”

“I know,” said Jessica, “You were making sure the house lost. Why?”

“Boss’s orders!” insisted Weasel, “He makes all of the dealers do it! Says it keeps the customers happy. I don’t know how he makes money doing that, but-”

“Rupert Cade,” realized Jessica, having done her research, “He’s telling you to do this?”

“Yeah!” nodded Weasel nervously, “but that’s all I know, I swear!”

“Where can I find him?”

“The offices are in the hull, but only employees can-”

Jessica reached into Weasel’s jacket and pulled out his I.D. card. She gave it a look and then shoved it into her pocket, much to his distress.

“Please,” he begged, “Mr. Cade REALLY doesn’t like it when we lose those…”

“Guess you should have been more careful,” said Jessica, tossing Weasel aside and walking off.

She rounded the corner of the building and made her way to the entrance. Malcolm was standing there waiting for her.

“You didn’t hurt him, did you?” asked Malcolm as Jessica walked past him, forcing him to hurry to catch up.

“He’s fine,” dismissed Jessica, “but something is definitely going on here.”

***

Peter and Mary Jane were approaching the front of the line.

“Oooh!” squealed Mary Jane excitedly, “We’re almost there!”

“You’re really excited about this one, huh?” said Peter.

“Well SOME of us don’t get to leap off buildings on a daily basis. So for us, this is quite novel experience.”

“Touché.”

They were standing on their numbers now, awaiting to be led into the loading area. The ride was called The Countdown. The enormous tower stood at the center of the park with a huge digital timer at the top of it. The cart, a series of harnessed seats on a cable, was slowly drawn to the top. The countdown timer counted down from 30, but the passengers had no way to see the clock. However the final 3 seconds were played audibly on the ride’s speakers, creating a huge moment of tension just before the timer reached zero.The passengers were then suddenly dropped to the bottom in a thrilling rush.

Peter and Mary Jane were brought into the loading area. The tiger, which Peter had been carrying on its back, had to be placed against the wall at the exit to the loading area to be picked up later. Peter and Mary Jane sat beside one another and strapped in. The attendant checked each of the harnesses before giving his safety speech.

“Please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Thank you.”

He pulled the lever as Peter and Mary Jane felt the car lurch. They slowly rose out of the loading area and out through the opening in the ceiling. They continued to ascend over the park as they got a look at everything around them. Mary Jane squealed again, kicking her legs excitedly. Soon they were at the very top, having a view of the entire vessel of a city that was Rupert's World.

They were at the top now. The counter was certainly counting down, but they had no way of knowing where it was. The tension was driving Mary Jane crazy. She loved it. Peter could tell.

“3…” announced a deep voice over a speaker, “2… 1…”

“Here it comes!” squeaked Mary Jane, tensing up.

Peter felt the tingle of his spider sense. That was strange. Yes, he was less than a second away from plummeting dozens of stories, but normally artificial dangers like thrill rides didn’t trigger his spider sense. Was something else going on? Was he actually in danger?

Everyone screamed as they felt the sudden drop. They were plummeting toward the ground at an increasing velocity. Mary Jane and Peter were both screaming with joy. About halfway down they started to slow down until they eventually stopped just above the hole in the ceiling of the loading area. Then they suddenly dropped the remaining several feet. Peter felt the impact of the landing harder than he expected.

 _Huh,_ thought Peter, _No real danger. I guess it’s just one convincing ride._

“That was amazing!” cheered Mary Jane, “What do you want to do next?”

***

Jessica and Malcolm continued their walk down the well-lit hall. Malcolm looked about nervously as different employees in different uniforms passed them at a brisk pace. Jessica knew that none of them cared enough to question why they were there, especially if they walked with confidence. Of course, Malcolm’s nervous looking about made that harder.

“Keep it together,” she whispered.

Malcolm nodded and tried to remain focused. They were in the administrative offices in the hull. The entirety of the park itself was built on the equivalent of the structure’s deck, while the lower level inside the hull was used for offices and getting employees from one end of the park to the other quickly. Jessica and Malcolm had used Weasel’s I.D. card to get in and were quickly approaching their destination.

“Here it is,” whispered Jessica as they arrived at an office door labeled ‘Rupert Cade.’

“How are we going to-” began Malcolm, but he heard the snap of a lock breaking as Jessica subtly forced open the door.

What they happened upon was not what they were expecting. The first thing Jessica noticed was the dance-pop music playing on the sound system. Then she noticed the gangly man in the white suit dancing atop his desk. He was facing away from them and didn’t turn when the door opened. He continued to swing his hips to the music for some time before he spun around and acknowledged them.

The whole room was odd. The floor was covered in a bright red carpet with yellow polka dots. The wall was bright green with orange stripes. Enormous clown dolls and stuffed animals lined every wall of the room. The garish sight was enough to make Jessica gag. The music went silent as the man snapped his fingers. 

“Jessica Jones!” he smiled, stepping down from the desk, “and someone I don’t recognize! So nice of you to drop by.”

“Mr. Cade,” said Jessica back dryly, “You’ve heard of me.

“I’ve heard enough,” said Rupert, walking back around his desk and pulling a laptop out of one of the drawers, “Alrhough I didn’t know you had a sidekick. Oh, and call me Rupert.”

“Wait a minute,” realized Jessica, “Rupert Cade… R. Cade… Arcade… Oh, goddamnit.”

“You like it?” laughed Rupert, “Totally made up, of course; just call me ‘Arcade.’”

“What’s going on here?” demanded Malcolm, “We know you’re losing money with this place! 

“What do you think of the name? ‘Rupert’s World’...” asked Arcade, “I was going to call it ‘Pleasure Island,’ but that seemed too on the nose, don’t you think?”

“What’s your plan!?” continued Malcolm.

“You couldn’t have brought Spider-Man?” asked Arcade exasperatedly, “At least _he’s_ fun.”

“Spidey’s taking the day off today,” said Jessica, walking up to the desk and staring Arcade down, “and I’m a lot more violent when he’s not around.”

“What a coincidence!” smiled Arcade widely, “Me too!”

Jessica reached across the desk and grabbed Arcade’s collar, pulling him roughly over the desk up to her face.

“Start talking or this gets painful,” she growled.

“Fine,” groaned Arcade, “It’s more fun if you know, anyway.”

Jessica released Arcade and gave him a light shove. He took a deep breath and straightened his bowtie before speaking.

“Imagine, if you will,” he began dramatically, “an island filled to the brim with people. Families, young lovers, and tourists from all over! Give them everything, make them feel like they’ve found Eden. Then take it away. Leave everyone in darkness with no power or way out. What do you imagine would happen next?”

“Chaos,” realized Malcolm, “Stampedes. Everyone would panic…”

“One can hope!” giggled Arcade, “Ruptert’s World will become _Murder_ world!”

“You’re insane,” whispered Malcolm.

“Consider it a social experiment,” mused Arcade, returning to his laptop, “I intend to record the whole thing and share it with the world. Everyone deserves to know just what kind of species humanity is.”

“How well do you think your plan will work if I snap your neck?” asked Jessica quietly.

“Poorly,” acknowledged Arcade, “but you’re not going to do that.”

“And why not?”

“Because if you’re busy killing me,” he said, turning the laptop to face Jessica, “Who is going to save the passengers of The Countdown from this tragic malfunction?”

The laptop screen displayed two windows with a live video feed in each. One was of The Countdown’s exterior as the car slowly rose to the top. The other feed showed the interior engine room beside the ride, where a putty explosive was attached to the main engine. A timer on the putty matched the timer on top of The Countdown. If it went off, the car would fall for real and the guests would die. That’s when Jessica realized in horror that she could see both Peter and Mary Jane in the feed of the ride. The car reached the top and both timers started counting down.

“You superhero types are so predictable,” chuckled Arcade, “It always pays to have insurance like this in case any of you show up.”

Jessica spun around and ran as fast as she could. She plowed through the doors and employees of the office area and rushed her way up the stairs and out onto the deck. She was not nearly as close to that ride as she would have liked. She leapt up and into the air and landed atop one of the buildings. She looked to The Countdown and saw that she was down to 20 seconds. She took a running leap in its direction.

She leapt from building to building as she made her way closer to the tower. Peter had _just_ started to recover from the trauma from Fisk. She wasn’t about to let some second rate villain in a tacky suit kill him now. This was supposed to be a nice date! He deserved this, damnit! The least Jessica could do was make sure he could have this _one_ nice thing!

Jessica landed near the ride, eyeing the engine room beside the line que. The timer was now down to 5 seconds. She charged at the engine room and burst the door open on her way in. She looked around and saw the bomb just as the timer reached 00:00.

“No!” she cried out.

The explosion itself was small, but it was enough to damage the engine. She heard a screeching as the cables began reeling away like a renegade fishing line. Those were the cables holding the car. Normally the engine probably slowed their speed before the car hit the ground, but with the engine destroyed…

Jessica ran up to the speeding cable and gripped onto it with both of her hands. She cried out in pain as the friction of the steel cable burned the skin on her hands. She held on tightly, though, since she could feel the cable slowing down as she gripped tighter. She clenched her teeth as the pain got worse and worse until finally the cable had stopped moving. Her arms trembled; she was holding the weight of the entire car on the cable now, which was more than she could bare. She held on as tightly as she could, not knowing what would happen if she let go. Finally the pain in her arms and hands became too much as she collapsed back onto the floor, letting the cable zip away as she heard a deafening thud.

“No…” she whispered.

She slowly managed herself up and to her feet and stumbled out of the engine room. A number of people were staring at her, having seen her break into the room, but no one seemed to be in horror or reacting to any accident. Jessica looked at The Countdown ride. It seemed fine. She watched exit and sighed with relief when Peter and Mary Jane walked out together, holding hands and laughing. They had no idea they were even in danger.

 _Thank God,_ she thought, _It must have stopped close enough to the bottom that no one was hurt._

“Ow!” yelled Jessica as she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head.

She spun around and saw a small crowd had gathered around her on either side. They had formed something of a circle around her and someone else. That someone else was a fit woman in a white and pink spandex suit with matching gym shoes and gloves. She wore a white helmet with a golden visor and the word “Screwball” written across the top in a stylized font. She was grinning smugly and leaning against one of the carnival games, tossing a ball up and down in her hand.

“What gives!?” demanded Jessica angrily.

“Well, well, well...” smiled the woman, “Boss wasn’t kidding. It really IS Jessica Jones! Here to spoil all our fun?”

This woman spoke incredibly clearly. Almost unsettlingly so. Jessica brought her fists up to ready herself for a fight, but found herself unable to clench her hands due to the pain and damage to her skin. She looked at the palms of her hands and saw they were red, raw, and peeling. She winced at the sight. She would heal from it pretty quickly, but it was pretty gnarly at the moment. It would make fighting difficult.

“This is big news, Screwbs!” said the woman in spandex, “My first real fight against a superhero!”

“I’m not a su- Wait, who the hell are you talking to?” demanded Jessica.

“Who am I talking to?” repeated the woman back clearly, “Why the Scewbs, of course! The loyal followers of Screwball!”

 _Screwball…_ realized Jessica.

It had taken her a moment, but now this made sense. Screwball was something of a minor internet celebrity. She had started as a parkour and prank focused streaming channel, but gradually became more violent as that began to garner more followers. She filmed everything through the visor of her helmet.

“Which of my signature moves should I use on Jessica?” asked Screwball loudly, “You decide! Remember to use the hashtag #ScrewBallLiveStream in your posts!”

“Give her a wet willy!” shouted one onlooker.

“No, throw a milkshake at her or something!” shouted another.

“Hey!” shouted Jessica indignantly.

She knew she wasn’t exactly a popular figure, but she had hoped to have more support than a supervillain would. Screwball placed a finger on her visor for a moment.

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” she shouted suddenly, “Thank you to Fyre93 for her suggestion via the stream chat!”

“Hey, X-Games!” shouted Jessica, “You gonna fight or are you just gonna talk to yourself all day?”

Screwball answered the question directly. She pitched the ball in her hand right at Jessica’s face. Jessica threw her arms up just in time to deflect the ball. Screwball then sprinted directly at Jessica. Jessica was still off-balance from deflecting the previous attack and was only able to haphazardly react. She made a grab at Screwball, but missed as Screwball threw her legs forward and slid under Jessica and between her legs. The next thing Jessica knew, Screwball was standing directly behind her.

“Wedgie!” she declared.

Jessica’s eyes widened as she felt the woman reach into the back of her jeans, grab the back of her underwear, and pulled it up. Jessica let out an embarrassing squeak of pain as she felt the cotton pull tightly into her. The crowd that had gathered erupted into laughter. Screwball got the waistband up to Jessica’s neck before letting it snap back.

“Nice!” exclaimed Screwball, “Got it all on camera too!”

Jessica grunted indignantly as the laughter continued. Her underwear was all up in her butt now. Her hands still stung too much to use them, meaning she had no way of removing the wedgie or even hiding the baggy beige undies hanging out of the back of her pants right now. She just had to stand there and endure the discomfort and humiliation.

 _Wow,_ thought Jessica, _So that’s what that feels like… I owe a lot of people an apology..._

“Ya’ll think THAT’S great,” said Screwball, “Keep watching until tonight to see something REALLY exciting. And don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe!”

Screwball was gone before Jessica could react accordingly. The woman was fast and skilled at sneaking through crowds and behind obstacles, meaning that seeing where she ran off to was next to impossible. Jessica might have been motivated to run anyway, but the indignity of the persisting wedgie curbed her focus.

 _”Keep watching until tonight”..._ thought Jessica, _She must be working with Arcade. He did say he wanted to record it when he shut down the power._

Jessica began to walk off in the direction of the main power room. She figured that was where Arcade would be for the main event, given his flare for the dramatic. She ignored the snickering and pointing fingers as she walked bowlegged, underwear still hanging out.

 _How the hell does Peter deal with this all the time?_ she wondered, wincing in discomfort.

***

“I’ve never been on one of these,” said Mary Jane, “Have you?”

“Well I was single up until the day we started dating,” said Peter uncomfortably, “So no.”

“Right, sorry.”

They were approaching the front of the line for the Tunnel of Love. They were near the loading area and could see other couples boarding the swan boats in the artificial river as they passed by, heading down into the dark tunnel. Peter could see the track in the water, moving constantly and carrying the attached boats along with it in a slow and endless cycle

“I actually didn’t know they still made these,” commented Peter.

“Yeah,” agreed Mary Jane, “The initial appeal of these rides for the opportunity to cuddle back when that was still a taboo to do in public. Once that became more socially acceptable, the rides fell out of fashion.”

Peter looked at Mary Jane with a hint of surprise.

“I did a project on them once for a class,” she admitted, embarrassed.

“Did you get to pick the topic?”

“...yes.”

Peter chuckled. It was rare that he saw Mary Jane embarrassed or flustered, but this seemed to be getting to her for some reason. It was honestly quite cute. He decided to lean into it. The next swan boat rolled by as they entered the loading area.

“Come on, nerd!” laughed Peter, running for the boat.

“Hey!” laughed Mary Jane back, blushing, “You’re one to talk!”

The two leapt into the boat together and quickly cuddled up. Peter shoved the large tiger in the boat on his right side as Mary Jane squeezed into his left. Peter leaned his head onto Mary Jane’s shoulder as he hugged her arm. She rested her cheek on his forehead and placed a hand on his knee. Soon they were in the dark tunnel.

Quiet jazz music played as they passed through dimly lit rooms filled with roses, glowing pink hearts, and depictions of Cupid’s arrows. They continued to snuggle, smiling at the atmosphere around them.

Peter sat up straight as he felt Mary Jane’s hand stroke his inner thigh. Even through his jeans, it was more than enough to excite him. He turned to her excitedly and gave her a gentle kiss before pressing his forehead into hers. He smiled as he smelled her breath and felt her rub her hands across his body.

Soon they were making out, feeling each other all over as they became more and more active and kissed harder and harder. They became so entangled in the passion that they didn’t notice that the glowing hearts had gone dark or that the ride had suddenly stopped. The power had gone out, but neither of them even knew.

***

Jessica’s run slowed to a walk as she approached the main power room in the hull of the vessel. Her hands hurt significantly less now, so she had finally fixed her wedgie. Her hands might have still looked nasty and stung when she touched anything, but at least she could walk straight again. She kicked the door and watched it swing open as she heard the lock snap.

“Jessica!” greeted Arcade warmly, “You made it!”

Arcade sat in an office chair in front of a large control panel, complete with dozens of monitors. The monitors displayed everything from security footage to power levels to critics’ reviews of the park. Arcade had spun around in his chair to face Jessica. Several feet to his left was an entire dunk tank setup, where Jessica saw Screwball and Malcolm.

The dunk tank wasn’t enormous, just barely big enough to fit a person in the tank itself. Above the tank was the hinged plank, upon which Malcolm knelt. Ropes had been wrapped around his knees and ankles, holding them together. His arms were bound tightly behind his back and a bright red ball gag had been shoved into his mouth and tightly fastened there with a black leather strap. He looked ridiculous.

Screwball stood several feet away next to a bin of small baseball-sized balls. She threw them one by one at the dunk tank’s target, barely missing each time. Malcolm winced every time it happened, unsure if it meant he was about to get dunked and drowned. Jessica could only assume Screwball was still streaming, broadcasting this sight to all her followers. 

Jessica let out a snort of laughter in spite of herself. Malcolm furrowed his brow in indignance. Arcade must have captured him after Jessica left to stop the bomb.

“You’re just in time!” declared Arcade, standing up, “The main event is about to begin!”

He clicked a button on the panel and every monitor changed to a different live feed of the park. Jessica saw footage of the boardwalk, the que lines, the staff areas… Everything. Arcade was about to throw them all into madness with his complete shut down. Jessica couldn’t let that happen.

“How do you like them, boss?” asked Screwball excitedly.

“Good, good,” nodded Arcade, “You really do have a knack for camera placement.”

“Comes with the job.”

Jessica began to march over to Arcade, but he hovered his finger over a button. She froze.

“Not yet,” grinned Arcade, “I still have to monologue after all.”

Jessica glared at him. He was insufferable.

“Humanity is curious, isn’t it?” he mused, finger still hovering the button, “How safe our we really? We think ourselves surrounded by allies, but when push comes to shove everyone descends into madness. No one is safe! After all, we live in a socie-”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Aw,” frowned Arcade, “You don’t like my delivery? Or was it the content of the speech? I could have a talk with my writers…”

“I thought it was great!” chimed in Screwball, “I’m saving the footage of it for my top tier patrons!”

Jessica was done with this. It was going nowhere. This egomaniac was going to go through with his plan anyway if she just sat there and listened to him. She had no intention of letting him control the situation any longer. She ran at him. He pressed the button.

“Nrmph!” cried out Malcolm from the top of the dunk tank.

One by one the monitors showed patrons looking about in confusion as the lights went out, sounds shut down, and rides froze in their tracks. Jessica continued her run and had almost reached Arcade when Screwball slammed into her from the side.

Luckily it didn’t seem like Screwball had supernatural strength, just impressive agility and reflexes. Her slam into Jessica had only been enough to distract her and redirect her attack. Jessica slammed Screwball into the wall as she heard her let out a cough. Jessica grabbed her and threw her onto the ground behind her, knocking her helmet off and sending it skidding across the floor. Jessica winced in pain as her hands burned from the contact.

Screwball groaned as she slowly rose to her knees. Jessica smiled. Screwball’s tight shirt had ridden up, revealed a red speckled fabric sticking out of the back of her pants. What was more, her streaming helmet was directly facing her. It was the perfect opportunity for karmic revenge. The only problem was that Jessica’s hands still stung too much to give an effective wedgie. She would have to improvise.

Jessica stomped lightly on Screwball’s butt, forcing her to lie flat on her stomach. Jessica used the toe of her boot to hook the underwear, securing the waistband around her foot. Then Jessica stepped forward and kicked with all her might, ripping the speckled red undies clear out of Screwball’s pants in one motion as the would-be internet celebrity cried out in pain. She rolled over onto her side, clutching her crotch in pain as she teared up and quietly moaned.

“Let’s see how many subscribers THAT gets you!” smiled Jessica in satisfaction.

Jessica finished Screwball off with a light kick to the head. Then she turned to Arcade. He flinched and backed away in fear. Jessica slowly walked up to him as he ran into the corner of the room. She pinned him to the wall with her forearm, pressing it into his throat. He let out a guttural noise of pain.

“Bring everything back online,” she ordered, “Now!”

Arcade furiously nodded and Jessica released her arm. He stumbled over to the control panel, gripping his throat and coughing. Jessica watched him carefully and impatiently. She was starting to hear the sounds of distressed guests outside. She wanted the power back on before anyone had a chance to truly panic.

Arcade clicked a few buttons and Jessica heard the loud hum of the entire vessel powering up again. She sighed with relief and struck Arcade across the back of the head with the back of her hand, knocking him out. 

Malcolm let out a “Mermmph!” that called Jessica’s attention to him. She looked up at him. He looked to the monitors.

“Right!” she realized, “Peter!”

Jessica looked around from monitor to monitor. Sure enough, one of them was footage of the inside of the tunnel of love. Jessica had a moment of concern when she saw Peter and a giant tiger in the boat, but Mary Jane was nowhere to be seen. Then Jessica saw the look on Peter’s face.

Peter was getting a blowjob.

“He’s fine,” sighed Jessica irritably.

Jessica turned to Malcolm, walking over to free him. Then she stopped, eyeing the dunk trigger. She smiled smugly at looked up at him. He began nervously shaking his head. Jessica slowly approached the trigger.

“Hey Malcolm,” she grinned, “Remember Halloween?”

Malcolm let out a “JRRRRNH!” as the plank beneath him swung away, causing him to fall into the tank with a loud splash, sinking slowly to the bottom. Jessica gave the glass a light kick and broke a hole in the tank. Water poured out of it, quickly leaving Malcolm on his side at the bottom of the empty tank. He was bound, gagged, soaking wet, and glaring at Jessica.

“Now we’re even,” she said proudly, walking away.

“JRNH!” cried Malcolm out angrily, wriggling and struggling to get free.

“Don’t worry,” waved Jessica without looking, “I’ll let security know to come get you.”

***

Peter was in a great mood. He had gone on a wonderful date with Mary Jane, gotten a good night’s rest, and was feeling on top of his game. He was back in classes now, but after his time off and that date he felt like he was ready for it.

He listened to the professor talk and attentively took notes. Unlike his biology classes, this journalism class was more focused on the lectures than the readings. The class itself was an elective, being a prerequisite for the photojournalism class Peter wanted to take. It consisted mostly of analysis of journalistic writings. The goal was to learn how to best write their own.

The professor usually used recent articles as examples. Today, he picked a headline from the Daily Bugle and threw it up on the screen. Peter looked on in shock. He hadn’t been following current events since taking a break from being Spider-Man, so the content of the headline was news to him.

**Superhuman Private Investigator Unveils Terrorist Conspiracy**

It was about Rupert's World! He had just been there yesterday with Mary Jane. Peter’s attention flew to the contents of the article without paying any attention to what the professor was saying. Apparently Jessica Jones had left a tip with the authorities, who apprehended the conspirators involved in the attempted act of terrorism. Peter couldn’t believe it. Why was Jessica even there? Had she followed him on his date?

Class ended not long afterwards and Peter went straight to Malcolm’s office. He had been having counseling sessions with Malcolm on a daily basis since Fisk had interrogated him, which had helped enormously with his recovery process. Malcolm had been wonderful about offering himself up as someone Peter could always talk to when he was feeling conflicted in any way.

Peter knocked on the door and entered upon Malcolm’s acknowledgement. Malcolm was staring at his computer monitor chuckling, but once Peter sat across from him he turned his attention to him.

“Peter,” he smiled, “How are you? How was your date?”

“Good,” answered Peter, “I think.”

“You think?”

“Did you see the news?”

“What news?”

Peter pulled up the story on his phone and showed it to Malcolm. He saw his eyes widen.

“Right…” said Malcolm, “Okay…”

“I don’t know what to make of it,” admitted Peter, “Following me on my date, doesn’t that seem a little-”

“Jessica didn’t follow you on your date,” said Malcolm quickly.

“How do you-”

“I did.”

“I… What?”

“Sorry,” said Malcolm, “It was unprofessional and disrespectful of me, but I… I was really hoping the date would go well. Jessica was there on a case and I sorta tagged along with her as she figured all that out.”

“Was the case about the conspiracy?”

“Yes.”

“So…” realized Peter, “You saved us.”

“Mostly Jessica,” chuckled Malcolm.

“Still,” smiled Peter, “Thank you. It’s nice to have been able to enjoy myself and let someone else be the hero for once.”

“That was the intent.”

“Jessica would be so mad if she heard me use the H-word in reference to her like that,” realized Peter with a smile.

“Not as mad as she would be if she knew what I was doing,” smiled Malcolm back, “You ready for this?”

Peter watched in confusion as Malcolm turned his monitor to face Peter. It was a YouTube video pirated from one of Screwball’s streams. Peter watched intensely as Screwball clashed with Jessica. Malcolm’s smile got wider and wider until the moment in the video when Screwball gave Jessica a wedgie. Peter gasped, holding back a smile himself.

“Oh my God…” he whispered, “Does she know that we can watch this?”

“No,” said Malcolm, “and if we value our safety, she never will.”

“Right. Can we watch that again?”

“Are you kidding? I could watch this all day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Literally wrote this because I felt so bad about how I treated Peter (and how I will continue to treat Peter)


End file.
